PODCAST - Reimagining Relationships with Melissa A. Fabello
April 17, 2020
[This episode is part of the Health and Wellness Changemakers Series, our collaboration with Shohreh Davoodi's Redefining Health and Wellness Podcast. This post is cross-posted from Shohreh's website.]
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An important (and often overlooked) aspect of health and well-being is social health, and relationships are at the core of social health. But so often we fall into the trap of believing that relationships of all kinds are supposed to look a specific way.
What if we could reevaluate and redefine our relationships so that they fit our lives instead of trying to fit our lives into the narrow relationship molds that already exist? Melissa A. Fabello explores that question with me in today’s episode.
As a writer and educator whose work explores the politics of bodies, beauty, and wellness, Melissa does a lot of writing about dating and relationships. From family to friends to romantic partners, we chatted about societal relationship norms and how we can bring more fluidity (and less hierarchy) into our relationship definitions.
Discussed in this episode:
- Melissa’s journey to become the writer and editor that she is today.
- Some of the common relationship norms and scripts that are socialized into us from a young age.
- The impossibility of one person meeting all of our needs even though that message is all around us.
- How people often don’t realize that monogamy is a choice they are making.
- The concept of buckets from the larger ideology of relationship anarchy.
- How we first learn communication from the people who raised us (and it’s rarely healthy communication).
- Why the idea that we should stick by family no matter what can be toxic.
- How friendships can be romantic and intimate.
- Different ways you can value and prioritize your friendships.
- A Twitter thread Melissa wrote about boundaries between friends that got torn apart on the internet.
- How it’s natural for relationships to shift because it’s natural for people to grow and change.
- The lessons that even monogamous people can take away from non-monogamy.
- The fear of jealousy that people have when they’re considering non-monogamy.
- How we don’t “own” our romantic partners and possessiveness is not okay.
- The importance of realizing that attraction is not fixed and that what we’re attracted to has been influenced by oppression in the world around us.
- How Melissa defines health and wellness for herself at this moment in her life.
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Melissa's viral Twitter thread about asking friends if they have the bandwidth to vent.
- More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
This Episode is Part of the Health and Wellness Changemakers Series
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Melissa A. Fabello is a writer and educator whose work explores the politics of bodies, beauty, and wellness. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality Studies. You can find Melissa on her website, Twitter, and Instagram.
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- For a full transcript of this episode, click HERE.
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